Lorelei's Diary

I recently watched Stocks & Bonds -- a video by Eric. There was a wonderful moment where the model is put under the bedcovers and she peeks out. It was so cute...

Eric has three parts in the film where he converses with the girls (from off-screen) and that was very strange to listen to his voice. I don't think it works to have a male voice cutting into these videos though.

I watched the uncut footage by Brody. It's very erotic except for his filming the feet so much. I can live with it. Marsha was so delectable that I put my hand on the screen and imagined touching her. She squirmed... it was neat... I traced her chest and pubic area.

I read The Claiming Of Sleeping Beauty or whatever it's called. Harmon sent it to me ages ago: I just recently pulled it out, along with Interview with the Vampire, which he wanted me to read. The Sleeping Beauty novel is about Beauty being taken as a love slave to this prince's castle. They're all into bondage and S&M particularly spanking. The spanking made me sick but the soft-core sex scenes between Beauty and the Prince made me race. They were very good.

The whole slave mentality, about brainwashing the slave until they think only of pleasing their master, night and day, no other thoughts at all... reminds me so much of being in love. That desire to make him happy becomes an obsession which eventually makes one nuts. Anyway it made me think of how much I wanted (still want?) to make Eric happy, or at least contribute to his happiness, and how disappointed I was when he declined that. Of course I can still contribute to his happiness by being his friend, but it would be better if I could get over him completely.

He may not even think he made up his mind. The time he called and I told him how I felt, he said he would think on it and call me back and let me know. The next time he called he said nothing about it, so I figured that was his decision. He sometimes claims he'll write me a letter but he never does. I think I know enough about him to be sure that he' s just going to solve this problem by avoiding it. Which works as well as anything else I suppose. I wouldn't really want him saying "fuck off" in some oblique way. This way is fine. It's good that I won't be moving there until October... it will give me time to become more reasonable about Eric.

A strange fascination is occurring over Rick Walker. He is the most brave and honest of my pen pals, and his last letter to me was very open; he admitted that thoughts of me existing are exciting, frustrating and depressing him. He’d planned to toss the letter but then sent it. Our dialogue has been very good all this time so I wrote back a fairly open and honest reply – but I didn’t comment that I had a special attraction to him. I don’t want him grinding his teeth all the way until October when I move out to the coast. We’ll probably meet eventually and then we'll see what's what.

Tomorrow morning I get to spreadeagle Jace in the woods near here. Sunday afternoon my artist pen pal will meet me at Meijers. That should be really fun; he’ll bring drawings he did when he was 10 to 15 years old. How cool! He called me at work today to confirm our meeting and he told me he'd bought some tight spandex shorts which he thought he'd look good in while tied. So maybe that will occur; I don't know. I still need to figure out where we're going to go eat dinner. A graveyard picnic would be nice, but I don't know if he'd be into that.

A recent fantasy had Eric and Mike doing a tie session with me. While Eric went into the bathroom Mike quickly strapped a dildo into me under my skirt while I giggled and playfully complained. When Eric came out he didn't know. Mike kept the little secret to himself as the pictures were taken and my cheekbones turned slowly pinker from the friction of rolling around on the floor...

Another pleasant fantasy which rolls through my mind is Halloween; I picture myself in a harem costume, my baby-chains on me, scarves trailing from my hips, and of course I’m barefoot. I go to JayDee's for a Halloween party and what a coincidence!! Eric has dressed as a sultan. The little joke catches everyone's notice, especially since they all suspect my feelings about him and they know his feelings about feet... a good laugh for the evening. Tarsis decides to rearrange my chains and in a good-natured setting folks watch him reorder it until my elbows are chained together behind my back. (This of course makes my chest stick out farther. The satiny top doesn’t conceal the progress of my nipples as they slowly harden from the friction of the cloth...) Eric feeds me my drink. Tarsis gags me with the scarves.

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